by Little Baby Ginn
I’m sitting here thinking about John Edwards and I’m thinking what the heck is he? I know for a fact that he’s loves to run for office, he’s turned his bid for the Democratic Presidential hopeful into his “occupation” and why not? He gets to go out and schmooze people while they fork over their money so he can keep going out and schmooze more people. A “perpetual schmoozing” machine with perhaps an Oval Office prize at the end. The press follows him around, the gullible fawn over him, and if for some reason Hillary and Obama were to fall out of the race, then, hey, who’s the Dems gonna call? Johnny On The Spot Edwards.
Avast ye, Johnny! Yarrr! I'll run ye through!
So I wonder, here he is, out campaigning, and saying stuff. Is anyone paying attention? Did anyone happen to catch Johnny’s latest Deep Thoughts on “Mandatory Health Care.” Here’s what Johnny had to say:
"It requires that everybody be covered. It requires that everybody get preventive care," he told a crowd sitting in lawn chairs in front of the Cedar County Courthouse. "If you are going to be in the system, you can't choose not to go to the doctor for 20 years. You have to go in and be checked and make sure that you are OK."
He noted, for example, that women would be required to have regular mammograms in an effort to find and treat "the first trace of problem." Edwards and his wife, Elizabeth, announced earlier this year that her breast cancer had returned and spread.
Edwards said his mandatory health care plan would cover preventive, chronic and long-term health care. The plan would include mental health care as well as dental and vision coverage for all Americans.
"The whole idea is a continuum of care, basically from birth to death," he said.
More here.
I decided to sit down and have an imaginary question and answer session with Johnny Edwards.
Me: So John, I read your statement about your plans for a national health care system and all I can say is, cool beans, John!
John: Why thank you very much, Little Baby Ginn and I can tell by looking at you that you’re in perfect health.
Me: Why thank you, John Edwards, and yes, I am. Let me read what you said the other day. You said about your proposed national health care plan, “It requires that everybody be covered.” This is slightly different than say, everyone is covered, right?”
Johnny: Well, that’s not true, Little Baby Ginn, see, under my plan, everyone is covered, so if you get sick, you have medical care, the finest medical care.”
Me: “Well, that’s terrific but you also said this:
“If you are going to be in the system, you can't choose not to go to the doctor for 20 years. You have to go in and be checked and make sure that you are OK."
That kind of sounds to me, you know, if you don’t choose a doctor then you’re out of luck?”
Johnny: I wouldn’t put it that way, Little Baby Ginn, I said, you need to pick a doctor…”
Me: Yes, you said from “birth to death.”
Johnny: That’s right, from birth to death, the whole idea is continuum of care so that you will be able to prevent a future illness. Everyone has to be healthy.
Me: What if you decide you don’t like the idea of being forced to see a doctor? That you’d prefer to see a doctor, say, when you got sick?”
Johnny: Well, (laughs), that’s a bad decision, you need to have a doctor and see one regularly in order to prevent illness.
Me: Well, this, on its face, is true. But some would like to have a choice on whether or not they’d want to have to go see a doctor. To some, this smacks of Big Brother and the way I see it, you say that if someone doesn’t choose to see a doctor then they forfeit their right to health care.
Johnny: This is true, either you’re in the program or you don’t get the benefits.
Me: So if someone pays taxes which funds this program and they decide not to follow your rules then they will be locked out, right? Even though they paid for it?”
Johnny: I wouldn’t look at it that way, Little Baby Ginn, that’s too cynical.
Me: But true, right? No follow your rules, no health care?”
Johnny: No, not true, again you’re being misleading.
Me: Let’s make this easier. Your plan, if someone doesn’t sign up to see a doctor and prefers to see a doctor only when they get sick, then they are not allowed to be in the plan. Yes or No.
Johnny: Yes.
Me: What happens to them?
Johnny: What do you mean”
Me: What happens to the people who decide they don’t want to be “required” to be in this plan? How will they get medical care?”
Johnny: (squirms in chair) Oh they’ll sign up, they’ll want to.
Me: What if they don’t want to?
Johnny: They will.
Me: Hmmm. Let’s just say, hypothetically, they don’t. What will happen to them when they need medical care?”
Johnny: Everyone will want to sign up so your hypothetical doesn’t apply.
Me: Would they go to prison, be charged with a crime, would you have the Medical Authority Police rifling through people’s medical records?
Johnny: Little Baby Ginn, you’re a funny girl, damn cute, but funny.
Me: What about mental health care? Will this plan cover it?
Johnny: Of course! Mental health is essential.
Me: Will everyone be required to see a shrink once a year or not be covered?
Johnny: Something like that.
Me: Care to clarify?
Johnny: Haven’t got those details hammered out yet, Little Baby Ginn.
Me: So a shrink from “birth to death?”
Johnny: (laughs) Oh no, nothing like that.
Me: Mandatory Weight Loss Clinics? Will you close down all the Fast Food joints? Mandatory Exercise Programs?
Johnny: (laughs) Well, excess weight leads to all kinds of chronic illnesses and exercise and weight loss are crucial.
Me: So we might see “mandatory exercise” included in your plan?
Johnny: If it means good health, yes, I can see adding something like that.
Me: (laughs) Ahunh. Well, thank you Imaginary John Edwards for taking the time to discuss your “Health Plan.”
Johnny: The pleasure was all mine, Little Baby Ginn.
Me: Oh, just one more question if you don’t mind. What happens if the doctor I see is negligent? I mean you’re an expert on this, you made quite a bit of moolah as a malpractice attorney suing the pants off bad doctors and their insurance companies so you know for a fact that not all doctors, are good doctors. My question is this, if every single American, something like over three hundred million people, have to sign up with a doctor, doesn’t this also vastly multiply the potentiality of malpractice lawsuits for attorneys such as yourself?
Johnny: (looks at watch) I’m sorry, Little Baby Ginn, I see our time is up but maybe we can get together some other time.
Me: Of course, I’d love too.
by LBG
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