Luscious P UNDERCOVERThe Adventure Begins

THE SECRET WORLD OF SECOND CYBERLIVES
by Luscious P

Hi everyone, I’m back from my latest cyberadventure.

I’m sure some of you have noticed that I, Luscious P, have been AWOL for awhile. My assignment has been to scope out one of those “second” life cybersites. So I packed my little overnight cyberbag, put on my little red skirt and white silk shirt, slipped on the red stilettos, did my hair in a French twist, you know, to look “classy.” A dash of Glossy Red lipstick and I was ready to go.

For once the Cybertrain was on time. I was quite surprised at all the people at the station who had the same ticket as I. People of all ages, most I’d have to describe as nondescript, a couple though, were attractive.

As we headed down the cyberrail I checked out some of the other passengers. A man smiled shyly at me. Partially balding, kinda pudgy with a sweet cherubic face, everything item of clothing he wore… a shade of brown. I caught a woman staring at me. Tall and thin with pinched features, she wore the latest Anne Klein and I know for a fact that she paid at least six hundred smackeroos for the oversized gaudy purse she carried.

We pulled into the station and then I traipsed up the stairs of the Cybersubway to CyberCity then down Cyber Way to where I could see the large sprawling building with the blue neon sign, “NextLife,” that glowed in the computer-generated darkness.

All us “newbies” sat in a darkened auditorium for the NextLife orientation. We were instructed on how to choose an “avatar.” The avatar was to be our new “NextLife” identity. We could pick and choose who and what we wanted to be. We could change anything we wanted. Be taller, thinner, different color hair or just hair for those bald guys that never checked out Bowsley’s Hair Club For Gullible Men. Heck, I thought, I could order up some 34DDDD boobies if I wanted. But I have to tell you having a pair of giant knockers has never been on my wish list… Hey, wait a sec, I thought, why not? I always wanted to know what life was like for a chick with massive mammaries and here was my chance!

We were given a map of NewLife City and a Search Menu then instructed on how to right-click on someone’s avatar and view their “profile.” Then we were given discount coupons to several of the Nextlife restaurants and clubs plus a free facial and makeover at one of the NextLife “glamour” studios.

It was too much fun picking my avatar. I kept my same weight, a hundred and twenty two pounds, height, five foot seven. Same facial features, green eyes, perfect lips, high cheekbones, long hair but I changed my color to raven black. I chose a virtual outfit that matched mine even though I kinda contemplated the little black leather skirt and bustier a little longer than I should have, then I was ready for my “NextLife.” Or so I thought.

I gathered up the Map and Search Menu and headed out. Right off the bat a very good-looking--but too pretty--man approached me. He greeted me then asked if I would like for someone, (him), to show me around. I thought, hmmm, should I hook up with someone right away?

“No thanks,” I said. “I think I’d like to mosey around by myself for a while.”

“Be that way,” he said then he slinked off.

People milled around. Funny, none of them were fat nor what you would call, unattractive, or as my friend, Tony, would say, 'dogs'. Most were good looking, but what some wore ran a fantastical gamut of epicurean imaginations gone wild. The streetlights glowed a golden yellow, while various kinds of music blended together from the clubs that lined both sides of the street. It sorta had a Bourbon Street feel to it, but with a Sci-Fi Harlequinnish twist.

I spotted a little bar tucked in between two clubs. The sign in neon red, “The Big Sleep.” A band played jazz from somewhere in the rear. I made my way through thick blue clouds of smokey darkness and the people, or “avatars” that sat at tables or the booths that lined one wall till I found a little table near the bandstand. The musicians played a slow sexy tune for a couple that swayed around a tiny dance floor set in black and white tile.

“Can I get you something, honey?” It was the waitress. Her bright orange lacquered beehive was at least eighteen inches high, vivid blue eyes peered through thick cat’s eyes glasses.

“Whiskey on the rocks?” It felt good to sit down and chill to some excellent music while I planned my next move.

“Sure, honey, coming right up.” She smiled at me with over painted ruby red lips then sashayed back to the long wooden bar where a muscled bound Greek god mixed drinks.

I leaned back and crossed my legs and watched the band play.

“Cigarette?” A woman stood at my table. She was dressed very nicely, a designer suit, her skin glowed and her shiny dark auburn hair was cut in a pageboy.

“Sure,” I said. “I’m surprised to see smoking is still legal.”

“May I join you?” She had a smile on her face that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Sure, have a seat.”

“Thanks,” she said as she sat down then slid two slender cigarettes between her raspberry lips. She held a silver plated lighter under the tips then when they glowed bright orange she handed one to me. “I read in the NextLife Daily Herald that the Nextlife City Council is considering an ordinance that would ban smoking in public places.”

I took a drag off the cigarette then shook my head. “Damn, not in cyberworld too.”

“Cyberworld is not immune from busybodies and do-gooders.”

“But still, this is cyberworld, I thought we had more latitude to “express” ourselves here.

I leaned back and crossed my legs and took another drag off the cigarette. “Have you been at NewLife for very long?”

“This is my second year here. You’re new right?”

“Ahunh, I just walked into my new life today.”

Smoke drifted from her lips. “So what do you do for a living?”

Oh no! I had forgotten I’d need some sort of “profession.” I needed to pick something that any dummy could do. And fast!

“I’m a psychologist,” I said. “And you?”

She gave me another one of those curiously flat smiles. “How interesting, I’m a psychoanalyst.”

“That is interesting,” I said. Good grief, I thought, now I have to act all brainac around this woman.

“What area of psychology are you in?” she said as the waitress sat my drink down on the table in front of me.

“Sex Therapy,” I said. “How much is the drink?” I asked the waitress.

“I started a tab for you, Sugarlips.” She looked at my new companion. “Anything for you, Ronnie?”

“The usual,” Ronnie said.

“Right, the usual.” She winked at Ronnie then left.

“So you’re Ronnie?” I said.

“Yes,” she said, “and you’re?”

Not your type, I thought. “I’m Amelie. Nice to meet you Ronnie.”

“Nice to meet you, Amelie.” She took a long drag off her cigarette and gave me another one of her smiles. Feral, I thought. She’s feral.

“Hi Ronnie, hi new NewLifer.” One of the musicians from the band stood at our table.

“Godfrey, come join us,” Ronnie said.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he said as he pulled out a chair.

He was a bit over six foot tall and had the features of an Italian. The dark hair, beautiful golden brown eyes, very nice lips, a ready smile. The much bigger boobs I had chosen made it a little harder for me to breathe. I wished I could just lean forward and let them rest on the table to give my back a break from carrying such a heavy load.

“So you two know each other?” I said to Ronnie and Godfrey.

“We do,” Godfrey said. He stuck out his hand, “and you are?”

“Amelie,” I said as I shook his hand. His grip was nice and warm.

He smiled at me. “Nice to meet you, Amelie. I think we’ll all get along quite famously.” He smiled at Ronnie. “Don’t you agree, Ronnie?”

Ronnie smiled her little feral smile. “Why yes, Godfrey, I believe we will.”

Next: Luscious P continues her explorations through the world of Second Life.
Luscious P UNDERCOVER Part Deaux

DAN RATHER SUES CBS NEWS--continuted from Front Page.

by Mondoreb & Little Baby Ginn

"This race between Dick Swett and Bob Smith is hot and tight as a too-small bathing suit on a too-long car ride back from the beach."
--Dan Rather, Election Night 1996

Dan Rather was CBS Evening News anchor for a long time. So long, in fact, that he accumulated a lot of baggage: a lot of bizarre quotes, actions, sayings, and finally, a story which was patently false. It was this last item which finally got him fired from CBS.

Dan Rather filed a $70 million lawsuit Wednesday against CBS, alleging the network made him a "scapegoat" for a discredited story about President Bush's National Guard service.
CNN story.

Rather insists he is the "scapegoat" even though he publicly apologized for the story, which presented documents right before the 2004 election, which later proved to be false. "Scapegoat Dan" was a victim, even though others expressed doubts about the documents' authenticity.

Rather is a victim--even though he insisted, long after the documents proved to be false, "that he believes this story to be true". Rather is a victim, even though he has no evidence to support his beliefs. Rather is a victim--even though he continued to stonewall, long after the documents were proven to be flimsy forgeries.

Dan Rather is a victim. He's a victim of his arrogance, hubris, and condescending attitude towards those with whom he disagreed. He's a victim of a world which shifted underneath his feet while he remained unaware. He's a victim of exploding information, of which he is no longer a gatekeeper.

"Folks, let me point out something to you, because for a lot of people in Washington, they could not be more surprised if Fidel Castro came loping through on the back of a hippopotamus."
--Dan Rather on Election Night, 1998.

Read the rest of story
PLUS! Dan Rather's Strange Quotes!

Larry King asked Dan Rather if he was concerned about the Internet:
"No. I think it's a great new addition. I don't think it's going to replace radio, television or newspapers, but it will increase the flow of information.... I'm so excited about it I have a 3,000-calorie attack about every half hour thinking about its potential."
--Dan Rather on Larry King Live, April 19, 2000.

Dan Rather was brought down by bloggers. Especially Little Green Footballs' Charles Johnson. Johnson had the idea of matching up the forged documents Rather greenlighted with one produced by a Microsoft program years after the original document had supposedly been made.
The Original Little Green Footballs' blogging that brought Dan Rather down.

"...but that's not going to happen. You can sooner expect a tall talking broccoli stick to offer to mow your lawn for free."
--Dan Rather, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, March 28, 1996.

So now Dan Rather is going to sue CBS News for $70 million. Because he was made a "scapegoat". Because he was a victim.

"'I know a lot of people think I've got the CBS eye tattoed on my ass,' Dan Rather says, conceding his public image as a tough, hard-charging telejournalist."
--Dan Rather, quoted in Edwin Diamond's 1991 book, The Media Show.

Poor Dan Rather. Life just isn't the same now that he's not at CBS. His life is a mess. $70 million will help ease his pain.

"The reelection of Bill Clinton is as secure as a double-knot tied in wet rawhide."--Dan Rather on Election Night, 1996.

Poor Dan Rather. He talked to Presidents, chatted with politicians, yakked it up with captains of industry. They don't have him on speed-dial anymore. He's sad.

Dan Rather spoke to college students at Boston University who were considering reporting careers:
"Be careful. Journalism is more addictive than crack cocaine. Your life can get out of balance."
--Quoted in the Boston Herald, October 22, 2000.

Poor Dan Rather. He doesn't get to pontificate. At least not when anyone is listening. No one listens to Dan anymore. I hate to break it to him: a lot of us didn't listen to him then.

[above: Dan Rather, telling the story of how long his nose grew, as he was telling the world on CBS News about George W. Bush and the Texas Air National Guard.]

Back to Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.

Hillary Care 2.0--continuted from Front Page

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) unveiled her long-awaited healthcare plan Monday, triggering immediate criticisms from her Democratic and Republican rivals and subsequent counterattacks from the former first lady.

So it's just not the usual defenders of the free market Capitalist Tools who are criticizing her plans.

Canada Now sounded a little put off that Hillary's last attemtp at "Candadian-sytle health care" failed. The question remains then: where would Canadians go to get US health care, if the US were like Canada?

WASHINGTON — The last time Hillary Clinton came up with a plan to provide universal health care in the United States, it died amid an onslaught of opposition from critics who accused her of trying to ram Canadian-style socialized medicine down the throats of free-enterprising Americans.

More than 13 years since the demise of “Hillarycare,” the Democratic presidential candidate has waded back into the politically charged debate over health care reform with a new proposal to cover 47 million Americans without health insurance.

Hillary still longs for the caress of government health care in the morning. For the tender touch that only comes from telling someone else what to do, where to go. She'll try to make her innermost dreams come true with this HillaryCare plan.

[Graphic at top of story by RAPH]
Back to Front Page

Saudi Fund War on US--continued

by Mondoreb

Freedom House Muslim volunteers collected printed materials and pamphlets at the mosques. The following is a sampling:

Reject Christianity as a valid faith: Any Muslim who believes "that churches are houses of God and that God is worshiped therein is an infidel."

Insist that Islamic law be applied: On a range of issues, from women (who must be veiled) to apostates from Islam ("should be killed"), the Saudi publications insist on full enforcement of Shariah in America.

See non-Muslims as the enemy: "Be dissociated from the infidels, hate them for their religion, leave them, never rely on them for support, do not admire them, and always oppose them in every way according to Islamic law."

See America as hostile territory: "It is forbidden for a Muslim to become a citizen of a country governed by infidels because this is a means of acquiescing to their infidelity and accepting all their erroneous ways."

Prepare for war against America: "To be true Muslims, we must prepare and be ready for jihad in Allah's way. It is the duty of the citizen and the government."
Freedom House Report on US Mosques

When people oppose the education of any US children in this hate, they are branded neo-Nazis, bigots or worse. Keep that in mind as the MSM continues to break nothing newsworthy on the Saudi funding of hate in the US. It's just more in their on-going silence in the War on Terror.

THE GO-TO GUY:Rock Star Behavior = Rock Star Results

by Trigger Girlie





Today I was checking my email when something caught my eye. That something was a Yahoo News article titled "Study: Rock Stars Actually Do Die Young." My initial reaction was: "Really!" (OK, it was a little different, but you catch the drift).
So: indulging in obsessive behaviors such as excessive drug and alcohol use, unbalanced diet, and having more sexual partners than an African Silverbacked gorilla will actually speed up one's demise?

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

Apparently it took a whole team of scientists to determine that all those above mentioned things--especially if used all together--WILL mess you up in the long run and cause you to kick the bucket before your time.

The study also shows that "British and US rock stars are two to three times more likely to die young, primarily of drug and alcohol abuse…" Three times more likely than WHOM? Rock stars from Pakistan or Zimbabwe? The whole statement is akin to saying

"People who lay down on railroad tracks are more likely to be hit by a train."

Do we need studies to prove that when you combine obsessive behaviors (aspirations of becoming a rock star, getting laid) with the usual rock star perks(read: drugs, girls, and money, which those people are chasing to begin with), you get a drug addicted, irresponsible moron on their way to rehab and eventually to his/her grave?

Now if these studies involved taking a couple of specimens like Britney, Courtney, or Cindi, locking them in a cell for 15 years while injecting them with all sorts of chemicals, then watching the train wrecks unravel before they came to a halt, it would be fine in my book. But those "scientists" get paid big bucks to tell us that the earth is round, the grass is green, and Howard Dean has mental problems.

There is a list of Rock Stars that died before their time, among them: Elvis Presley, Kurt Cobain, and Jimi Hendrix. It took a scientist to determine that Presley's food binges took him to an early grave via a massive heart attack? Or Cobain's marriage to the beast(no, not Courtney Love)that was heroin made him pull that trigger? Or that Jimi's cocktail of sleeping pills and wine caused him to choke to death on his own vomit?
Actually, it did take one scientist. His name is Mark Bellis, who specializes in the effects of alcohol, drugs, and violence on public health. In other words: if you want to know whats going to happen if you pop PCP, drink a bottle of grain alcohol, then take an axe along while grocery shopping, Mark is your go-to man.

Papercut Poll Results:Have You Ever Slept with a Liberal?

August 28, 2007

Maybe. If I were high enough. (33%)

No. But I might . (20%)

Hell yeah., Bring 'em on. (16%)

Never in a million years. (16%)

I'm into figurative, not literal sex, man. (16%)

Yes. And I'd do it again (12%)

Yes, but I fell on the grenade for my buddy. (8%)

It's Because of Them

--continued

““We think a bomb hit here. I’m having a hard time breathing. I probably won’t make it out of here. I just want you to know I love you.”

Peter Mardikian, victim of the North Tower on 9/11 spoken to his wife Corine on a cell phone

“ On the Sunday before 9/11, Kevin put the boys on the phone with me, and that is the last time I spoke to them. Kevin was my only child. I lost him, and now I’ve lost my grandchildren.”

Mother of Kevin Bingley who was killed in the South Tower on 9/11

Yes, it’s because of them. And thousands and thousands more JUST like them. The hurt, the wounds, the grief never seem to end. And neither does the fury in many of us. We are in Iraq to defeat the Evil that has hurt so many, many innocent people. We are in Iraq to finally say “enough is enough.” We are in Iraq to rid the World of these animals. And most importantly, we are in Iraq….because of them.

RADICAL IMAMS HOME-GROWN WEEDS --continuation of front page

Intended for a Muslim-only audience, they reveal a deep-rooted hatred of Western society, admiration for the Taleban and a passionate zeal for martyrdom “in the way of Allah”.

And some instructions for the kiddies or those possibly thinking of their "Britishness".

One sermon warns believers to protect their faith by distancing themselves from the “evil influence” of their non-Muslim British neighbours.

“We are in a very dangerous position here. We live amongst the kuffar, we work with them, we associate with them, we mix with them and we begin to pick up their habits.”

In another talk, delivered a few weeks before 9/11, he praises Muslims who have gained martyrdom in battle and laments that today “no one dare utter the J word”. “The J word has become taboo . .. The J word is jihad in the way of Allah.”

England is under attack. The people in the streets seem to know this; it's one reason upwards of 1 million British have fled the country in the last three years. The government is oblivious, paralyzed by a fear that they'll lose control of power if large blocs of British Muslims turn out to vote against them.

It's time for the government to step in and take steps to secure Britain for the British. Their enemies are on the move while they fiddle. The British people and and nation need a leader; the times demand it.

Does Britain not have a Nelson for the 2000s?

Does a new St. George exist in the Isles?

Cannot even ONE Churchill be found in England?

Who will step up for Britain?

READ MORE
READ the TIME(UK) investigation

BLOG OF THE WEEK

NOTE: Every week Death by 1000 Papercuts will be reviewing a site that we feel is the sort us "Rightwing Madmen" would enjoy taking a look at.
This week we look at BabbaZee's.

BLOG: The Outraged Spleen of Zion
REVIEWER: Little Baby Ginn
READ IT YOURSELF HERE

In cyberworld everyone has their favorite blogs, you know the ones that light that particular fire and dazzle those neurons. Babbazeesbrain is the crËme de la crËme for yours truly, Little Baby Ginn.

I spied Babbazee over at Little Green Footballs, Little Baby Ginn’s favorite blog of all blogs. This little chickee blew my mind from the get-go. A woman of considerable talent, Babbazee is someone I would join forces with in a heartbeat. This woman is a full force Radical Conservative, an intellect and wit that dazzles Little Baby Ginn from beginning to end.


From Babba’s Blog:

Shalom and Salute, Infidels, Crusaders and Paisnowitzes! Welcome to the Zionist Hobby Center. Peer into the impervious Zionist Hair Rays of BabbaZee. Behold, she casts out Brigades of Gramscian Whores and the ravening Beasts of Islam, delivering them into the Mighty Right Hand of the God of Israel, to be utterly destroyed. Granmsci Crackers and Goat Milk will be served in the lounge after the smitings. Try some of our nice Zionist Occu-Pie.
L’Chaim!

To those who haven’t been over to Little Green Footballs this may sound like gibberish but it is in fact, genius wrapped up in a beautifully neat little package.

Babba and I are members of the Panty Smoters Guild. It’s been a long time since God chose to smite someone so we decided it was time to take up smiting again, this time using panties as our weapon of choice.

The Zionists Hair Rays… a very cool inside joke.

We are infidels, just ask the Islamists and we’re Crusaders too. Again, just ask the Islamists who haven’t gotten over the Crusades. Don’t be surprised if the word, Crusaders, disappears from the books, while Intellectuals attempt to shame us into deep sixing it because Muslims are “offended.”

The Gramscian Whores are the Multiculturalists who seek to destroy us from within. The Politically Correct, the “Thought Police.” The scourge of “Intellectualism.”

Gramscian originated with Antonio Gramsci, an Italian writer, politician, political theorist and Marxist philosopher. Born in 1891 he was a founding member and onetime leader of the Communist Party of Italy. He is renowned for his concept of cultural hegemony where a diverse culture can be ruled or dominated by one group or “class.” That everyday practices and shared beliefs provide the foundation for complex systems of domination. In simpler terms, Communism. In new terms, Multi-culturalism.

From the Ayn Rand Institute:

Multiculturalism is a growing force in America’s universities and public life. In brief, multiculturalism is the view that all cultures, from that of a spirits-worshiping tribe to that of an advanced industrial civilization, are equal in value.
Since cultures are obviously not equal in value—not if man’s life is your standard of value—this egalitarian doctrine can have only one purpose: to raze the mountaintops. Multiculturalism seeks to obliterate the value of a free, industrialized civilization (which today exists in the West and elsewhere), by declaring that such a civilization is no better than primitive tribalism. More deeply, it seeks to incapacitate a mind’s ability to distinguish good from evil, to distinguish that which is life promoting from that which is life negating.

http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer?pagename=media_topic_multiculturalism&JServSessionIdr007=dirx0604i2.app1a

It’s Marxist dogma prettied up by a new fancy-schamchy label, Multiculturalism, perpetuated by the Gramscian Whores.*

*Gramsican Whores
Babbazee’s dead on observation of Multiculturalists and their ilk.

“Gramsci Crackers and Goat milk” No need to explain, this is what dazzles me about Babbazee, well, one of many, many things that Babbazee brings to my world.

Babbazee has turned out her own blog and it’s, well, it’s beyond cool. It’s Babbazee. A cornucopia of delight, insight, wisdom and unrelenting courage.

Everyone now and then you run across someone, if you’re lucky enough to, like Babbazee. Someone whose life force is ten times that of mortal men, someone such as Babbazee.

All Hail Babba.

Health Care: LittleBabyGinn Interviews JOHN EDWARDS?

YOU SAY "MANDATORY", I SAY "NANNY STATE"

by Little Baby Ginn

I’m sitting here thinking about John Edwards and I’m thinking what the heck is he? I know for a fact that he’s loves to run for office, he’s turned his bid for the Democratic Presidential hopeful into his “occupation” and why not? He gets to go out and schmooze people while they fork over their money so he can keep going out and schmooze more people. A “perpetual schmoozing” machine with perhaps an Oval Office prize at the end. The press follows him around, the gullible fawn over him, and if for some reason Hillary and Obama were to fall out of the race, then, hey, who’s the Dems gonna call? Johnny On The Spot Edwards.

Avast ye, Johnny! Yarrr! I'll run ye through!


So I wonder, here he is, out campaigning, and saying stuff. Is anyone paying attention? Did anyone happen to catch Johnny’s latest Deep Thoughts on “Mandatory Health Care.” Here’s what Johnny had to say:

"It requires that everybody be covered. It requires that everybody get preventive care," he told a crowd sitting in lawn chairs in front of the Cedar County Courthouse. "If you are going to be in the system, you can't choose not to go to the doctor for 20 years. You have to go in and be checked and make sure that you are OK."

He noted, for example, that women would be required to have regular mammograms in an effort to find and treat "the first trace of problem." Edwards and his wife, Elizabeth, announced earlier this year that her breast cancer had returned and spread.

Edwards said his mandatory health care plan would cover preventive, chronic and long-term health care. The plan would include mental health care as well as dental and vision coverage for all Americans.

"The whole idea is a continuum of care, basically from birth to death," he said.

More here.

I decided to sit down and have an imaginary question and answer session with Johnny Edwards.


Me: So John, I read your statement about your plans for a national health care system and all I can say is, cool beans, John!


John: Why thank you very much, Little Baby Ginn and I can tell by looking at you that you’re in perfect health.


Me: Why thank you, John Edwards, and yes, I am. Let me read what you said the other day. You said about your proposed national health care plan, “It requires that everybody be covered.” This is slightly different than say, everyone is covered, right?”


Johnny: Well, that’s not true, Little Baby Ginn, see, under my plan, everyone is covered, so if you get sick, you have medical care, the finest medical care.”


Me: “Well, that’s terrific but you also said this:


“If you are going to be in the system, you can't choose not to go to the doctor for 20 years. You have to go in and be checked and make sure that you are OK."
That kind of sounds to me, you know, if you don’t choose a doctor then you’re out of luck?”


Johnny: I wouldn’t put it that way, Little Baby Ginn, I said, you need to pick a doctor…”


Me: Yes, you said from “birth to death.”


Johnny: That’s right, from birth to death, the whole idea is continuum of care so that you will be able to prevent a future illness. Everyone has to be healthy.


Me: What if you decide you don’t like the idea of being forced to see a doctor? That you’d prefer to see a doctor, say, when you got sick?”


Johnny: Well, (laughs), that’s a bad decision, you need to have a doctor and see one regularly in order to prevent illness.


Me: Well, this, on its face, is true. But some would like to have a choice on whether or not they’d want to have to go see a doctor. To some, this smacks of Big Brother and the way I see it, you say that if someone doesn’t choose to see a doctor then they forfeit their right to health care.


Johnny: This is true, either you’re in the program or you don’t get the benefits.


Me: So if someone pays taxes which funds this program and they decide not to follow your rules then they will be locked out, right? Even though they paid for it?”


Johnny: I wouldn’t look at it that way, Little Baby Ginn, that’s too cynical.


Me: But true, right? No follow your rules, no health care?”


Johnny: No, not true, again you’re being misleading.


Me: Let’s make this easier. Your plan, if someone doesn’t sign up to see a doctor and prefers to see a doctor only when they get sick, then they are not allowed to be in the plan. Yes or No.


Johnny: Yes.


Me: What happens to them?


Johnny: What do you mean”


Me: What happens to the people who decide they don’t want to be “required” to be in this plan? How will they get medical care?”


Johnny: (squirms in chair) Oh they’ll sign up, they’ll want to.


Me: What if they don’t want to?


Johnny: They will.


Me: Hmmm. Let’s just say, hypothetically, they don’t. What will happen to them when they need medical care?”


Johnny: Everyone will want to sign up so your hypothetical doesn’t apply.


Me: Would they go to prison, be charged with a crime, would you have the Medical Authority Police rifling through people’s medical records?


Johnny: Little Baby Ginn, you’re a funny girl, damn cute, but funny.


Me: What about mental health care? Will this plan cover it?


Johnny: Of course! Mental health is essential.


Me: Will everyone be required to see a shrink once a year or not be covered?


Johnny: Something like that.


Me: Care to clarify?


Johnny: Haven’t got those details hammered out yet, Little Baby Ginn.


Me: So a shrink from “birth to death?”


Johnny: (laughs) Oh no, nothing like that.


Me: Mandatory Weight Loss Clinics? Will you close down all the Fast Food joints? Mandatory Exercise Programs?


Johnny: (laughs) Well, excess weight leads to all kinds of chronic illnesses and exercise and weight loss are crucial.


Me: So we might see “mandatory exercise” included in your plan?


Johnny: If it means good health, yes, I can see adding something like that.


Me: (laughs) Ahunh. Well, thank you Imaginary John Edwards for taking the time to discuss your “Health Plan.”


Johnny: The pleasure was all mine, Little Baby Ginn.


Me: Oh, just one more question if you don’t mind. What happens if the doctor I see is negligent? I mean you’re an expert on this, you made quite a bit of moolah as a malpractice attorney suing the pants off bad doctors and their insurance companies so you know for a fact that not all doctors, are good doctors. My question is this, if every single American, something like over three hundred million people, have to sign up with a doctor, doesn’t this also vastly multiply the potentiality of malpractice lawsuits for attorneys such as yourself?


Johnny: (looks at watch) I’m sorry, Little Baby Ginn, I see our time is up but maybe we can get together some other time.


Me: Of course, I’d love too.

by LBG

DBKP.com - Bigger, Better!.
Death by 1000 Papercuts Front Page.