Luscious P UNDERCOVER: Part Seven Sockpuppets!

NEWLIFE PART 6 Luscious P continues her tour through the NewLife Site, where millions build virtual people, have virtual lives and conduct virtual affairs.

They seemed like the nicest cops in the world. “Sure,” I said. I followed the two cops through the dancing crowd. I felt sooooo good as if I could dance my way to the cop station. Someone grabbed my arm. It was the missing Godfrey.


“Watch out,” he said then he disappeared back into the crowd.

The cop shop was just a hop, skip and a jump from the club. The sea of nightlife avatars parted for us as the two escorted me down the brightly lit sidewalk.

Inside the station it was quiet as if the walls muted all sound. We went down a subtly lit hallway and then into a neat looking chrome and smoky glass room.

“Have a seat,” the woman cop gestured across the sleek dark table. Her partner had disappeared; it was just the two of us. I sat down and crossed my legs. She was incredibly buff, I wondered if she had a six-pack under her black NewLife uniform.

“Nice rack,” she said as her partner walked into the room. When he sat down I could see my reflection in his mirror sunglasses. He looked down at the PDA he had in his hand.

“It says you’re new here at NewLife.” He looked up and stared at me. “You are “new” aren’t you?”

I shook my head. “New?”

“First timer,” the woman cop said. “By the way, I’m Officer Harry and this is Sergeant Dick.”

“Harry and Dick, got it,” I said. “Why did you ask if I were new?”

Dick gave me a cool look. “You’ve never registered at NewLife under a different nic?”

“No I haven’t,” I said, thinking, this was getting kinda weird. I looked at Dick, “what makes you think I’ve been here before?”

“You have that “sockpuppet” look to you.”

“Sockpuppet? What the heck is a sockpuppet?”

“It’s someone who comes here and registers under a different nic after they’ve been banned.”

I shook my head. “Banned? What’s banned?” I didn’t recall hearing the term, banned, at Orientation or reading about it in the cyber-brochure.

They glanced at each other. “NewLife,” Officer Harry said, “has a policy of banning members who fall under certain criteria of behaviors unacceptable to the community.”

“What kind of “unacceptable” behaviors?” I was intrigued.

Sergeant Dick folded a pair of muscular forearms across his chest and looked at me. I wished I could see his cyber-eyes under the mirrored glasses.

“Unacceptable behaviors are behaviors NewLife finds unacceptable.”

“Oh yeah?” Man, that clarified it. Not.

“Unacceptable behavior has been classified as behaviors which are deemed to be immoral, unethical, or illegal,” Officer Harry said.

“I see.” I was now curious about those who had been “banned”. “How many have banned from NewLife?”

Dick shook his head. “That’s classified info.”

“Well,” I said, “is banning, permanent?”

“Once a member is banned they are no longer welcome at NewLife,” Harry said.

“Are these “sockpuppets” members who were banned?”


“Yep,” Dick said. “The bastards were banned but keep finding ways to slip back in.”

I looked at Harry. “What happens if you find out someone has been previously banned? You just “ban” them again?”

“That’s about all we can do,” Harry said.

Dick shook his head. “You just keep kicking their sorry asses out. They’re pretty wily. New permanent email addresses, stolen credit cards, or if they’re desperate, they’ll steal someone’s identity and slink back in.”

The door opened and a good-looking man entered the room. Everyone, it seemed, in NewLife was very attractive to the point were they had all begun to seem “average.”

He looked at Dick and Harry. “Our Iggy Pop was a sockpuppet.”

“Yeah,” Dick said. “So why am I not surprised?”

“Not just any sockpuppet,” Dick. He was a HalfLifer.”

“That bastard!” Dick said. “They’re infiltrating us, big time.”

“Halflife?” I’d never heard of that online community.

“Interview’s over,” Dick said as he stood up and nodded at Harry. “You’re free to go.

Luscious P UNDERCOVER Part 5:

NEWLIFE PART V

Luscious P continues her tour through the NewLife Site, where millions build virtual people, have virtual lives and conduct virtual affairs.

Stimulated X

I noticed how Godfrey’s avatar had begun to look quite a bit more alluring. In fact, the words that came out his mouth seemed all the sudden, fascinating.

“Simulated X? As in simulated ecstasy?”

“You got it, baby,” he said. “Let’s dance.” He sidled up and put his arm around my waist.

“There’s no music,” I said.

“Who needs music,” he said, “when we can make our own.”

I begin to feel good. Really good and I suddenly felt like dancing. “Let’s go back into the club.”

“No, no,” Godfrey said, “I know an even better place to get down.”

I looked at his flat avatar face, his angles looked incredibly devilishly handsome. How did I miss this about him earlier? “Sure,” I said. “Lead the way.”

He smiled. “Follow me, Amelie, follow me.”

“Okay,” I said. I laughed. “I feel like a butterfly without the sting of a bee.”

We went through a beaded lights curtain into a room where avatars danced and spun around. The pull to join them was overwhelming.

“Feel good?” Godfrey said.

“I do, I do!” I said. “Amazingly so.”

“It’s the Simulated X.”

I looked at him. “How do they do that? Make us feel like we’ve done X?”

He giggled. “It’s a secret but since I like you, I really, really like you, I’ll tell you.”

My heart warmed to him. What a lovely guy, I thought, but in the back of my mind a tiny voice spoke up. It’s the X talking… I shook my head. Be quiet,” I told the irritating voice, this is too much fun! I smiled at him. “What are we waiting for? Let’s dance!”

“Yes! Let’s dance,” He did the short version of the Paso Doble. “It’s in the rhythm, Amelie, feel the rhythm.”

We spun and danced around with the other avatars. It was some new-fashioned love-in even when someone bumped into me or stomped on my toes. Evidently good dancing skills didn’t translate onto cyberworld.

I was shaking my cute little bootie when an avatar dressed like Iggy Pop bounced into me then bounced into me again. It was after the fourth time that I took a better look at him.

I reached up with my hands and when he crashed into me I pushed back, politely of course. He fell to the floor and thrashed around then lay still.

The strobe lights played over us and the other avatars kept up their performance art dancing as I kneeled down beside him. His eyes were closed and he lay very still. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. Avatars didn’t have a pulse so it would have been silly to feel for one. I looked up for Godfrey but he had disappeared.

The music suddenly stopped and the avatars ground to a halt. As if en masse they all turned and stared at me and the now rigid Iggy Pop look-alike sprawled across the cyberdance floor.

“Good God!” An avatar that looked like Cindy Crawford screamed. “He’s dead!”

Part One

Part Deaux

Part III

Part IV

Luscious P UNDERCOVERNewLife Part III

NEWLIFE PART III

Luscious P continues her tour through the NewLife Site, where millions build virtual people, have virtual lives and conduct virtual affairs.

It was fun chitchatting with my two new pals but I realized it was time to scope out more of NewLife and sitting on my cute little butt wasn’t going to cut it.

“It’s time for me to scoot,” I said to Ronnie and Godfrey.

“Why?” Godfrey said. “You just got here.”

“Hmm,” I said, “I know, but I have places to go, things to see. Can’t do that sitting in here no matter how delightful the company.”

“Oh, isn’t she sweet, Godfrey,” Ronnie said. She gave me another one of her chilly smiles.

“I have an idea,” Godfrey said. “Let me show you around, Amelie.”

“Godfrey can show you quite a few things,” Ronnie said as she pulled another long tip filtered cigarette from its pack.

I looked at Ronnie. “Like his plumber’s snake?”

“Come one, Amelie,” Godfrey said, “let me show you around NewLife City. It’s a happenin place!”

“Well, since you put it that way, sure.” Might as well, I thought. I could grill him at the same time; find out what the attraction was to submerse oneself in a new cyber-identity on a fake world cyber site.

The neon lights and glittery signs of various clubs lit our way as we strolled down the street.

“So are you really a woman?” Godfrey said.

“Are you really a man?” I said.

“I’m a man,” he said, “and I hope you’re a woman.”
“I am,” I said as two very good-looking women strolled by. In fact, most everyone was attractive.

“What would you like to do?” Godfrey said.

“Well,” I said, “this part of NewLife reminds me of the Vegas Strip, a very clean Vegas Strip.”

“Yeah,” he said, “I know what you mean.”

“Are there any places in NewLife where one can go, you know, to have a bit more fun?”

He stopped and looked at me. “You mean, fun fun?”

I looked at him. “Ahunh, fun fun. That kind of fun.” I hoped he would take me to parts of NewLife that were in the shadows, below the radar, so to speak.

“How much fun did you want?” He said.

I smiled at him. “As much as I can take.”

He smiled. “You don’t beat about the bush, do you?”

I shook my head. “No, I prefer to cut right to the chase.”

“Where we’re going it isn’t PG rated. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Do I have to sign a disclaimer that I’m over twenty one?”

“I just wanted to make sure,” he said, “that you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“How would I know,” I said, “if I hadn’t done it yet?”

“Good point,” he said.

“Don’t worry,” I said, “I can take care of myself.”

“For some strange reason I believe you,” he said. “Ready?”

I smiled. “Ready.”

NEXT WEEK: Luscious P continues her report from NewLife

Part One

Part Deaux

Luscious P UNDERCOVERPart Deaux

NEWLIFE PART DEAUX

Luscious P continues her tour through the NewLife Site, where millions build virtual people, have virtual lives and conduct virtual affairs.

I swirled the mixture of melted ice and the dregs of whiskey in my highball glass. A new couple dressed in 1940’s getups did the foxtrot out on the dance floor, a tiny little chick glued to a tall man.

“So tell me, Amelie,” Godfrey said, “what made you decide to come here to NewLife?” His manner was very relaxed with his digitized legs crossed while he sipped on a Cosmopolitan. Ronnie sat across from us, lighting up another long tipped cigarette.

I shrugged my shoulders, which wasn’t as easy as it used to be with the heavier breasts. “I heard about it and thought, what the heck, why not go check it out. It sounded like fun.”

“Oh it’s fun all right,” Ronnie said. “It’s so much fun to some it’s addictive.”

“It’s so much fun it should be against the law,” Godfrey said. “At least in forty nine states, Google, and Yahoo.”

“Why did you decide to join NewLife, Godfrey?” I said.

He looked at me. “Do you want the “spin” or the unvarnished truth?”

“Surprise me,” I said.

“Godfrey’s the kind of person who needs mental stimulation,” Ronnie said.

Godfrey laughed. “And what about you, Ronnie? Why do you continue to haunt NewLife?”

Haunt was an apt description. She had a hint of vampire about her. She took a drag off her cigarette and then let the smoke drift back out of her lips. “I suppose I’m at a place like NewLife because essentially the real world is so… excruciatingly boring. You can change your avatar whenever you feel like it whereas in real life you actually have to work at it.”

“What do you mean, work at it?” I said.

“Think about it,” she said to me, “you can come here and voila, with a few strokes on a keyboard and a some plastic cash you can be whatever you want, look however you want. Erase those wrinkles, extra pounds, bald palates, big noses, or flat chests. You can pretend you’re single, another gender, or a Senator. You can go from a plumber in real life to a prince from a foreign country like Godfrey.”

Godfrey laughed.

I looked at him. “So you’re Roto Rooter by day and Italian prince by night?”

“Well, yes, I am,” he said, “but I try not to bring into the conversation unless it’s relevant.”

“Do you keep your crown in your pocket?” I said.

Ronnie smiled at me. “Godfrey’s rather unassuming for a man who speaks seven foreign languages and has several degrees from rather impressive institutions of higher learning.”

“And carries his own pipe wrench, plumber’s snake, and royal edicts?” I said.

“Appearances can be deceiving Amelie,” Ronnie said. “I mean, how do we know you’re really a woman? Maybe you’re some big fat hairy guy who always wanted to pretend to be a sexy woman?”

I shook my head in wonder. She was right! I could be anyone or anything but then again, so could Godfrey and Ronnie. Just thinking about it made my head spin and a sudden craving for a fresh whiskey on the rocks.

“How about another sugar?” I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was the waitress. What was she, psychic?


“Sure,” I said. “One more for the road.”

“Hello Doll!” A tall man with a pencil thin mustache and zoot suit showed up at our table. He reached out his hand towards me. “Name’s Rube and I’m into boobs, big beautiful boobs that is.” We shook hands while I made a mental note to find the restroom as soon as possible. “What size are those puppies?” he said with a leer. “You like poles?”

“Poles?”

Ronnie snickered and Godfrey laughed.

“Pssst, Amelie,” Godfrey said, “as in pole dancing.”

“Oh, I see.” I said to Godfrey. I looked up at Rube. “No thanks, I’m not into poles.”

“Well, baby,” he said as he pulled a card from his front suit jacket pocket, “If you change your mind here’s where you can reach me.”

I took the card from his long fingers, a diamond flashed from the pinky ring on his left hand. The card read “Rubes Beautiful Boobs A Go Go.” I laid it on the table. I couldn’t wait to find the restroom and wash my hands.

“Beat it, Rube,” Ronnie said.

“Aw shucks, Ronnie, you just want Amelie all to your selves.” He looked at me, “Listen good looking, if I was you I’d watch out for these two. Appearances can be decevin.”

He was right about that. “Thanks Rube, I’ll remember that.”

He smiled at us. “Then I’ll scoot.”

“You do that, Rube,” Ronnie said. “Scoot!”

He bowed slightly to her, “Yes, Ma am!” Then he strode away into the clouds of blue smoke.

“A lot of nerve that Rube has,” Ronnie said. “Thinks he can smooze whomever and wherever.” She took another drag off her cigarette as a rather non-descript woman walked over from the bar and sat down at the table next to us.

“Another Blander,” Godfrey said.

“Blander?” I said. He was right. She was rather bland. Her clothes were straight off the Liberal Librarian rack, Birkenstocks, grey jumper over a matching turtleneck.

“Blanders are either too cheap, too broke, or want to blend in,” Ronnie said.

“Oh yes?” I said. I knew that in order to upgrade your avatar you had to “purchase” such “perks” as my 34DDD boob job.

“They might just be here to observe, Ronnie,” Godfrey said.

“Being purposely bland on purpose,” I said as I wiped some of the sweat off my glass with my finger.

“That’s right,” Godfrey said.

“Or too cheap or not enough money to shop at CyberGalleria for a makeover,” Ronnie said.

“She’s probably writing some sort of thesis on cyber lives,” Godfrey said.

I smiled in my drink. “Or doing the Ugly Duckling, you know, love me for my intelligence, not for my looks?” I said. I laughed. “Why don’t we just ask her instead of sitting here speculating all night?”

“You might be on to something, Amelie,” Godfrey said. He looked over at the Blander woman, “Miss, would you care to join us?”

She looked back at us. “Mind your own business A-Hole.”

“Well!” Ronnie said as we all started to laugh.

NEXT WEEK: Luscious P continues her report from NewLife

Part One










Citations:Tail Rank.com

Luscious P UNDERCOVERThe Adventure Begins

THE SECRET WORLD OF SECOND CYBERLIVES
by Luscious P

Hi everyone, I’m back from my latest cyberadventure.

I’m sure some of you have noticed that I, Luscious P, have been AWOL for awhile. My assignment has been to scope out one of those “second” life cybersites. So I packed my little overnight cyberbag, put on my little red skirt and white silk shirt, slipped on the red stilettos, did my hair in a French twist, you know, to look “classy.” A dash of Glossy Red lipstick and I was ready to go.

For once the Cybertrain was on time. I was quite surprised at all the people at the station who had the same ticket as I. People of all ages, most I’d have to describe as nondescript, a couple though, were attractive.

As we headed down the cyberrail I checked out some of the other passengers. A man smiled shyly at me. Partially balding, kinda pudgy with a sweet cherubic face, everything item of clothing he wore… a shade of brown. I caught a woman staring at me. Tall and thin with pinched features, she wore the latest Anne Klein and I know for a fact that she paid at least six hundred smackeroos for the oversized gaudy purse she carried.

We pulled into the station and then I traipsed up the stairs of the Cybersubway to CyberCity then down Cyber Way to where I could see the large sprawling building with the blue neon sign, “NextLife,” that glowed in the computer-generated darkness.

All us “newbies” sat in a darkened auditorium for the NextLife orientation. We were instructed on how to choose an “avatar.” The avatar was to be our new “NextLife” identity. We could pick and choose who and what we wanted to be. We could change anything we wanted. Be taller, thinner, different color hair or just hair for those bald guys that never checked out Bowsley’s Hair Club For Gullible Men. Heck, I thought, I could order up some 34DDDD boobies if I wanted. But I have to tell you having a pair of giant knockers has never been on my wish list… Hey, wait a sec, I thought, why not? I always wanted to know what life was like for a chick with massive mammaries and here was my chance!

We were given a map of NewLife City and a Search Menu then instructed on how to right-click on someone’s avatar and view their “profile.” Then we were given discount coupons to several of the Nextlife restaurants and clubs plus a free facial and makeover at one of the NextLife “glamour” studios.

It was too much fun picking my avatar. I kept my same weight, a hundred and twenty two pounds, height, five foot seven. Same facial features, green eyes, perfect lips, high cheekbones, long hair but I changed my color to raven black. I chose a virtual outfit that matched mine even though I kinda contemplated the little black leather skirt and bustier a little longer than I should have, then I was ready for my “NextLife.” Or so I thought.

I gathered up the Map and Search Menu and headed out. Right off the bat a very good-looking--but too pretty--man approached me. He greeted me then asked if I would like for someone, (him), to show me around. I thought, hmmm, should I hook up with someone right away?

“No thanks,” I said. “I think I’d like to mosey around by myself for a while.”

“Be that way,” he said then he slinked off.

People milled around. Funny, none of them were fat nor what you would call, unattractive, or as my friend, Tony, would say, 'dogs'. Most were good looking, but what some wore ran a fantastical gamut of epicurean imaginations gone wild. The streetlights glowed a golden yellow, while various kinds of music blended together from the clubs that lined both sides of the street. It sorta had a Bourbon Street feel to it, but with a Sci-Fi Harlequinnish twist.

I spotted a little bar tucked in between two clubs. The sign in neon red, “The Big Sleep.” A band played jazz from somewhere in the rear. I made my way through thick blue clouds of smokey darkness and the people, or “avatars” that sat at tables or the booths that lined one wall till I found a little table near the bandstand. The musicians played a slow sexy tune for a couple that swayed around a tiny dance floor set in black and white tile.

“Can I get you something, honey?” It was the waitress. Her bright orange lacquered beehive was at least eighteen inches high, vivid blue eyes peered through thick cat’s eyes glasses.

“Whiskey on the rocks?” It felt good to sit down and chill to some excellent music while I planned my next move.

“Sure, honey, coming right up.” She smiled at me with over painted ruby red lips then sashayed back to the long wooden bar where a muscled bound Greek god mixed drinks.

I leaned back and crossed my legs and watched the band play.

“Cigarette?” A woman stood at my table. She was dressed very nicely, a designer suit, her skin glowed and her shiny dark auburn hair was cut in a pageboy.

“Sure,” I said. “I’m surprised to see smoking is still legal.”

“May I join you?” She had a smile on her face that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Sure, have a seat.”

“Thanks,” she said as she sat down then slid two slender cigarettes between her raspberry lips. She held a silver plated lighter under the tips then when they glowed bright orange she handed one to me. “I read in the NextLife Daily Herald that the Nextlife City Council is considering an ordinance that would ban smoking in public places.”

I took a drag off the cigarette then shook my head. “Damn, not in cyberworld too.”

“Cyberworld is not immune from busybodies and do-gooders.”

“But still, this is cyberworld, I thought we had more latitude to “express” ourselves here.

I leaned back and crossed my legs and took another drag off the cigarette. “Have you been at NewLife for very long?”

“This is my second year here. You’re new right?”

“Ahunh, I just walked into my new life today.”

Smoke drifted from her lips. “So what do you do for a living?”

Oh no! I had forgotten I’d need some sort of “profession.” I needed to pick something that any dummy could do. And fast!

“I’m a psychologist,” I said. “And you?”

She gave me another one of those curiously flat smiles. “How interesting, I’m a psychoanalyst.”

“That is interesting,” I said. Good grief, I thought, now I have to act all brainac around this woman.

“What area of psychology are you in?” she said as the waitress sat my drink down on the table in front of me.

“Sex Therapy,” I said. “How much is the drink?” I asked the waitress.

“I started a tab for you, Sugarlips.” She looked at my new companion. “Anything for you, Ronnie?”

“The usual,” Ronnie said.

“Right, the usual.” She winked at Ronnie then left.

“So you’re Ronnie?” I said.

“Yes,” she said, “and you’re?”

Not your type, I thought. “I’m Amelie. Nice to meet you Ronnie.”

“Nice to meet you, Amelie.” She took a long drag off her cigarette and gave me another one of her smiles. Feral, I thought. She’s feral.

“Hi Ronnie, hi new NewLifer.” One of the musicians from the band stood at our table.

“Godfrey, come join us,” Ronnie said.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he said as he pulled out a chair.

He was a bit over six foot tall and had the features of an Italian. The dark hair, beautiful golden brown eyes, very nice lips, a ready smile. The much bigger boobs I had chosen made it a little harder for me to breathe. I wished I could just lean forward and let them rest on the table to give my back a break from carrying such a heavy load.

“So you two know each other?” I said to Ronnie and Godfrey.

“We do,” Godfrey said. He stuck out his hand, “and you are?”

“Amelie,” I said as I shook his hand. His grip was nice and warm.

He smiled at me. “Nice to meet you, Amelie. I think we’ll all get along quite famously.” He smiled at Ronnie. “Don’t you agree, Ronnie?”

Ronnie smiled her little feral smile. “Why yes, Godfrey, I believe we will.”

Next: Luscious P continues her explorations through the world of Second Life.
Luscious P UNDERCOVER Part Deaux